People rarely lie on their deathbed wishing they had worked more or owned more. The recurring regrets are about courage, relationships, and unfinished business. A palliative nurse turned those observations into one of the most shared lists in the world, and rigorous Canadian research has since shown what dying patients value most: meaning, dignity, and the sense that their affairs are in order.
This page gathers the research on deathbed regrets and end-of-life priorities, with the Canadian data on where we die, how late care arrives, and how few of us have put our affairs in order. Each figure links to a source at the bottom. Updated June 2026.
The top five regrets of the dying
The best-known account comes from Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative-care nurse who recorded what her dying patients told her.
1. The five regrets, in the patients' own words
Ware's five most common regrets of the dying are: "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me"; "I wish I hadn't worked so hard"; "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings"; "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends"; and "I wish that I had let myself be happier." Not one is about money or possessions.1
2. A 2009 blog post read by millions
Ware first published the essay "Regrets of the Dying" in November 2009, and by 2012 it had been read by roughly 8 million people, a sign of how deeply the theme resonates across cultures.2
3. The book that followed
The expanded book, "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying," was published in 2011 by Hay House and has since been translated into dozens of languages, becoming a fixture of end-of-life and hospice reading.3
What Canadian dignity research found
Canada produced some of the most rigorous research on what gives dying people peace, through the work of psychiatrist Harvey Max Chochinov.
4. Dignity Therapy was developed in Canada
Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, a psychiatrist at the University of Manitoba, developed "Dignity Therapy," in which dying patients record their most important moments and messages into a "generativity document" left for loved ones. It is built on the human need to leave something meaningful behind.4
5. Dying patients reported renewed meaning and purpose
In Chochinov's initial study of 100 terminally ill patients, 91 percent were satisfied with the therapy, 76 percent reported a heightened sense of dignity, 68 percent an increased sense of purpose, 67 percent a heightened sense of meaning, and 81 percent said it would help their family. The strongest effects centred on purpose, meaning, and helping those left behind.5
6. A randomized trial confirmed the benefit
A landmark randomized controlled trial published in The Lancet Oncology in 2011 enrolled 441 terminally ill patients. Those who received Dignity Therapy were significantly more likely to find it helpful, to report improved dignity and quality of life, and to say it had helped their family.6
7. The comfort carried over to grieving families
Among bereaved family members, 78 percent said the generativity document had helped them during their grief, 77 percent said it would remain a source of comfort, and 95 percent said they would recommend Dignity Therapy to others facing terminal illness. Leaving something behind measurably eased the burden on the living.7
Where and how Canadians die
The gap between how people want to die and how they actually do is itself a source of regret.
8. Most want to die at home; few do
Roughly 75 percent of Canadians say they would prefer to die at home, yet only about 15 percent actually do, with hospital remaining the most common place of death. The mismatch reflects how rarely end-of-life wishes are documented and shared in advance.8
9. Home death with palliative care is rising but rare
In 2021 to 2022, 13 percent of Canadians died at home with palliative care, up from 7 percent in 2016 to 2017, according to the Canadian Institute for Health Information. Progress is real, but the option still reaches only a small minority.9
10. Palliative care often arrives very late
CIHI found that half of Canadian patients identified as palliative die within just 22 days of being identified. When care comes that late, families have little time to settle affairs, say what needs saying, or honour someone's wishes.10
11. Access depends heavily on diagnosis
Cancer patients were the most likely to be identified as palliative in their last year of life (77 percent), while dementia patients were the least likely (39 percent). The unevenness means many Canadians reach the end without the support that helps put affairs and relationships in order.11
12. A growing number choose how their life ends
In 2023, 15,343 people received medical assistance in dying in Canada, 4.7 percent of all deaths, according to Health Canada. Whatever one's view, the figure shows how many Canadians now actively plan the final stage of life, a planning instinct that rarely extends to a will.12
The conversation most of us avoid
One regret recurs in survey after survey: not having talked about it, or written it down, while there was time.
13. Most Canadians have not had the talk
About 41 percent of Canadians have never had a detailed conversation with family about their end-of-life wishes or where to find key documents, and an earlier national poll found 55 percent had not "had the talk" at all. The silence leaves families guessing at the worst possible moment.13
14. Even couples are in the dark
A survey found that 66 percent of Canadians do not know the end-of-life wishes of their own spouse or partner. The person closest to you is often the least informed about what you would want.14
15. Half of Canadians have no will
Angus Reid found that 51 percent of Canadians have no last will and testament, and only 35 percent have one that is up to date. The most concrete way to "put your affairs in order" is the one most people put off. See our data on how many Canadians have a will.15
Putting your affairs in order
The research points to a clear conclusion: peace at the end comes from meaning, repaired relationships, and the knowledge that those you love will not be left with a mess.
16. Advance planning eases the burden on everyone
Studies of advance directives find benefits at three levels: for the individual (fewer unwanted, invasive procedures), for the family (less stress, conflict, and burden, and genuine peace of mind), and for clinicians (fewer ethical dilemmas). Putting wishes in writing is one of the most reliable ways to reduce end-of-life regret, for the dying and the bereaved alike.16
None of the top regrets are about money, but every one of them is easier to address when the practical side is handled. A will, an advance directive, and an honest conversation free people to focus on what the research says matters: meaning and relationships. To start the practical part in a guided way, use our will generator, or read our related data on dying alone in Canada, inheritance disputes, and wills in Canada. For the document itself, see how to write a will and dying without a will.
Frequently asked questions
What are the top five regrets of the dying?
As recorded by palliative nurse Bronnie Ware: not living true to yourself, working too hard, not expressing your feelings, losing touch with friends, and not letting yourself be happier. None concern wealth or possessions.
Is there Canadian research on this?
Yes. Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov at the University of Manitoba developed Dignity Therapy, and randomized trials showed it improved patients' sense of dignity, meaning, and purpose, and brought lasting comfort to grieving families.
How does a will fit in?
A common practical regret is leaving affairs unsettled. A will, paired with an advance care plan, removes that burden from your family and lets everyone focus on relationships rather than paperwork at the end.
The clearest takeaway: the things people regret are within reach while there is still time, and handling the practical side frees you to focus on the rest. To begin, use our will generator or read how to write a will.
Sources
- 1Bronnie Ware (bronnieware.com)
- 2Wikipedia (en.wikipedia.org)
- 3Penguin Random House (penguinrandomhouse.com)
- 4CBC (cbc.ca)
- 5PMC (National Library of Medicine) (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
- 6The Lancet Oncology (PubMed) (pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
- 7PubMed (pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
- 8Universite de Montreal (umontreal.ca)
- 9Canadian Institute for Health Information (cihi.ca)
- 10Canadian Institute for Health Information (cihi.ca)
- 11Canadian Institute for Health Information (cihi.ca)
- 12Health Canada (canada.ca)
- 13Advance Care Planning Canada (advancecareplanning.ca)
- 14PRWeb (survey) (prweb.com)
- 15Angus Reid Institute (angusreid.org)
- 16PMC (National Library of Medicine) (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
About the author
Max Kuch
Max Kuch has spent years studying succession law, estate planning, and the human side of end-of-life decisions. For GetAWill he gathers research from palliative-care science, Canadian health institutions, and national surveys, and presents it clearly and without jargon.